ONCE UPON A TIME

My father was born in 1899 and my mother in 1905, and these two photos which I first saw only recently capture them around the time they married in 1925. In the top photo my mother is the one with her hand to her face (or hair, not sure) with my father leaning over her, and in the bottom one they are the couple up front with my father's arms around my mother.

I adored my mother and still do. I lost her when I was twenty-three. I think of her every day. I adored my father too when I was a boy, but by the time I hit my teens we spent too much time arguing loudly and angrily over my actions and choices (especially my focusing on my poetry and writing and music and acting etc.) until I left home. Fortunately before he died in his seventies, I had found a way to forgive him, and myself, and was able to have civil and even loving visits to him as long as I kept the conversation focused on his past and not my present.

WOW

My grandchild Donovan Lally walked the runway again (a few weeks ago and didn't even let me know when he came to the "wrap party"—much more modest and humble than me!).

A DAY AFTER THE OSCARS

I woke up this morning and realized that in the main Oscar categories that most people have an opinion about or interest in (other than cinephiles, like probably most folks reading this), the traditional "white" "American" "straight" "male" was almost entirely shut out.

In the four acting categories, there were none. Not best director either.

The best picture category win for GREEN BOOK was one of the few times the Oscar stage was crowded with mostly "white" "American" "straight" "males" (and the writers of that film also won for best original screenplay, but Spike and his crew won for best adapted screenplay so that category was split).

When you take into account the other categories, it is clear that at least for this year's Oscar awards, "white" "American" "straight" "males" were in the minority. 'Bout time.

AFTER THE OSCARS

Looks like lacking a host and making last minute changes to the ceremony should happen every year. The show moved along nicely, there was more diversity on the stage, among presenters and winners, than ever in Oscar history, and though I disagree with several of the awards results, all in all much better show than I expected (loved that Bette's voice was perfect and the ending of the duet with Cooper and Gaga was surprisingly poignant and just about perfect, and the opening Queen set was mostly terrific and started the show off with power and joy, and despite missing people the "in memoriam" segment was dignified and included more categories of people who contribute to making movies than ever before...I mostly enjoyed the show...

OSCAR PICKS

Here's the winners I'd like to see in the categories where I saw all the contenders, (with the caveat that a lot of my favorites didn't get nominated in most categories):

Best Picture: is a tough one since I can raise at least one objection to each movie that got nominated, but my personal choice is BLACKKKLANSMAN, because though it is definitely Spike Lee's most audience friendly film, it still highlights Spike's directorial flourishes that were once revolutionary and unique but now are classic, and despite bending the "truth" the movie unfolds as almost a lesson in the fundamentals of moviemaking.

But if that's overlooked I'd like BLACK PANTHER or BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY to win for the passion and originality they bring to typical blockbuster movie making (and I wish CRAZY RICH ASIANS had been included for the same reason).

Best Actor: is for my taste dominated by Christin Bale's portrayal of Cheney in VICE, just an amazing commitment to realizing a character we all have our own idea about.

Best Actress: Glen Close and Olivia Colman gave the greatest performances among the nominees, but for sentimental and political reasons, and because her performance is amazing for a first timer, I'd like to see Yalitza Aparicio win.

Best Supporting Actor: I love and admire Mahershala Ali's work, but because he was portraying a man I knew as someone quite different, I can't, and besides I think Richard E. Grant's performance was even more challenging and complex and successful.

Best Supporting Actress: I can't totally choose because despite trying to see it I haven't been able to catch IF BEALE STREET COULD TALK yet, but among those other than Regina King, I'd choose Emma Stone for once again giving a most nuanced performance that still covers the spectrum of human emotion and behavior. She excels at that more than most.

Best Director: Spike Lee, it's deserved and its time.

Best Adapted Screenplay: a tie for Spike and his fellow writers on BLACKKKALNSMAN and the writers of CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME.

Best Original Screenplay: Paul Schrader for FIRST REFORMED despite how uncomfortable it made me.

Best Animated Feature: ISLE OF DOGS

The rest of the categories I didn't see enough of the contenders to have an honest opinion about, but still I'd love to see RBG win Best Documentary for sentimental and political reasons (though I'm still miffed that the Fred Rogers doc wasn't nominated).

Here's the link to the new trailer for the documentary being made about my poetry and life by Rachel E. Diken:

THROWBACK TO LAST SUNDAY (photos by Jennifer Lally Fondots)

 left to right my son Miles, grandchild Donovan, son Flynn, niece Jennifer, me, daughter Caitlin and grandchild Deak

 daughter Caitlin and me dancing

 toward the end of the party I loosened my tie and had a blast with the hardcore still dancing

 grandchild Donovan and me

 my youngest, Flynn, and oldest, Caitlin

 my youngest grandchild, Deak, and her mom Caitlin

fancy dancin'

 my handsome son Miles

 me watching friend and dj Jim Coleman set up for the screening

 grandson Donovan, son Flynn, me, nd son Miles

 boogie down

 Caitlin and film director Rachel groovin'

me and my son Miles and Flynn on the dance floor