Friday, October 3, 2008


Well, she did better than expected because the expectations were so low.

Or another way of looking at it is, doggone it, she sure is a regular joe sixpack hockey mom kinda gal next door who’s gonna get that darn fed’ral government to help out the folks at Saturday’s soccer game and’ll just have to not be too specific how (wink wink) ‘cause doggone it who wants to hear about her ol’ end times beliefs (what the heck, the world’s comin’ to an end soon anyway an’ Alaska, according to her pastor, is gonna be the refuge state for all those believers in the lower 48 who’ll need a place to run to when the anti-Christ shows up—and we know who that might be wink wink—and the Rapture sends all those Jews and Catholics to hell and even some of those darn Protestants who just don’t get it that there’s only one way to be saved) and she’s not gonna come out and say it but her sarcastic tone and gotcha satisfied smile when she gets an opening for her rehearsed phrases about how these other guys are just gonna raise your taxes, gosh even if that is a lie, it isn’t if you’re as rich as John and Cindy McCain for pete’s sake, and anyways, these guys are just gonna take away your doctors and try and put the fed’ral government right there controlin’ your health care darn it, even if that’s a lie too (wink wink) we all know lyin’s fair ‘n’ square if you do it with a wink and a smile and that sarcastic knowing rightwing insider look of these dumb ol’ Democrats think that facts’ll beat her perky cutesiness and competence’ll win over repeating the same old lies over and over again until enough people believe’em. Which, come on, they obviously do or there wouldn’t be such high percentages of Americans who still think Obama’s a Muslim (well he did wear that funny outfit and has that funny name not like brig and trig and fig and the cutesy white folks Alaskan killers of wild animals with guns from helicopters chasing them down kinda folks) and he’s an obvious “elitist” with all that fancy expensive stuff (hey, so what if he was raised by a single mom on food stamps and later by grandparents from Kansas and made it to Harvard on brains and hard work and turned down opportunities to make millions as a big time lawyer to help working-class and poor people instead, and so far has been right on every major issue of our times so much so that even Junior and his team have come around to carrying out almost every suggestion Obama made (and there’s still more time left doggone it) like dealing with Iran, coming up with a timed plan to get our troops out of Iraq, deciding oversight is needed for Wall Street etc.) well heck even Mavericks, John and her, she , whatever, have followed Obama’s lead and now they’re for change too but not that ol’ changing of the people and party runnin’ Washington, that’s not change, change is sayin’ Maverick over and over again, ‘cause gosh, votin’ ninety percent with Junior like John has done and havin’ the same cut-taxes and don’t talk to bad guys like Russia and just let’em have it dead or alive you can’t hide it’s us or them country first there’s no people as great as American people cause heck anybody knows a young black man isn’t gonna change much in Washington, so who cares if that whole change thing was his idea, it’s John’s and hers now, just like John and her are gonna cure health care and not raise your taxes by cutting rich people’s taxes even more and letting the insurance companies run your health care instead of that old icky fed’ral government that should just go away, who needs it anyway? Government’s the darn problem, we need to get government the heck out of the way. Gee whiz that’s what the president’s been tryin’ to do and them Mavericks can finish the job ‘cause they’re a whole new party now and all the lobbyists and oil people and Carl Rove folks workin’ for John’s and her campaigns just means John and her are smart enough to use the bright guys that got Junior elected and kept him in power even though he pretty near gosh darn destroyed the economy and destroyed our country first!

[rj eskow did a much funnier and on the money version of this, check it out]


Toby Thompson said...

Brilliant summary and characterization, Michael. Really. I could almost see you in a tight black skirt.

JIm said...

I am disappointed, that you did not call her a “Bimbo”. But other than that, those stalwarts of objectivity, Mathews, Maddow, Oberman, could have written it. You did not use smutty language so you were high brow compared to Maher. All in all, it was a learned dissertation by today’s Democrat Party standards.

Jamie Rose said...

Rock it Lals!!!!!!!!

RJ Eskow said...

Oh, but you say that like it's a BAD thing!!

Jamie Rose said...

Hey! I think I finally figured out who "Joe Six-pack"is! It's "Jim"! The commenter above!

JIm said...

jamie rose,

Thanks for the recognition as Joe Sixpack. I wear the appellation proudly. I find that we Joe Sixpacks have a lot more wisdom than Washington DC has demonstrated lately.

JIm said...

jamie rose,

I just checked out your website. You are almost as pretty as Sarah. Rest assured, I would never call you a "Bimbo" because I disagree with your political views. We Joe Sixpacts have scruples.

Jamie Rose said...

Hate to sound like a Bimbo but maybe you can explain to me why the "six pack" thing is complimentary? Does this means guys who drink a lot of beer? And are proud of it? Or guys with toned stomachs?

Thanks for calling me "almost as pretty as Sarah", means a lot.


JIm said...

jamie rose,

Actually I do like Coors Lt. and Bushmills Irish whiskey, but not together. I used to favor Jameson's, but since that whole Catholic Protestant thing calmed down it is politically correct for even a lapsed Catholic to partake in a Northern Irish beverage.

I believe there is more wisdom in large numbers of common people vs. the eggheads in Harvard and Coloumbia etc. It seems that the wisdom from those institutions point us to socialism, high taxation, which constricts the private sector and expands the govt. sector. Luminaries from these institurions, seem to favor appeasement of, and or, quasi approval of bad people like Ahmadinajhad, Castro Bros. and Chavez. The Joe Sixpacts of America inherently know there is evil in the world. We would not show, even tacit approval, by having a US President negotiate without preconditions with these low lifes. We do not think that dictators and murders should be given a platform to spew hate on campus. We take umbrage at elites, from these institutions, that think it is appropriate to welcome dictators but ban ROTC.

PS Some of us are multi talented in that we can drink beer,bike. play tennis,ski, and hunt deer and elk with a longbow. We usually drink beer "after" the afore mentioned activities.

AlamedaTom said...

The betting line:

Huge University by 35 over Podunk State. Final score = Huge 64, Podunk 30.

Covering the spread is far from winning the game.


JIm said...

Excerpts of Bill Clinton's remarks requarding Barney Frank and the Democrats on the lack of oversight of the GSEs.

Three years later, President Clinton’s Department of Housing and Urban Development tried to impose a new regulation on Fannie, but was thwarted by Frank. Clinton now blames such Democrats for planting the seeds of today’s economic crisis.

"I think the responsibility that the Democrats have may rest more in resisting any efforts by Republicans in the Congress or by me when I was president, to put some standards and tighten up a little on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac," Clinton said recently.

Anonymous said...

Dear M:

Terrific piece. That McCain would pick this ignorant nitwit as his running mate tells us all we need to know about his bad judgment, reckless impulsiveness, and complete lack of genuine concern for what is best for this country. Given that the true state of McCain's health remains unknown (several reporters were given a couple of hours to go over something like 1300 pages of unpaginated medical data on McCain, but were not allowed to make copies of anything; if his disease doesn't kill him, the treatment for the likely recurrence of his melanoma could easily incapacitate him for a year or more), the prospect of this vacuous talking-point robot becoming vice president is doubly alarming.

JIm said...

The American Carol

I look forward to your review. I thought it was laugh out loud funny with enough seriousness to shed a tear at the end.

Anonymous said...

Funny that you old white men are rooting against yourselfs.

Obama represents the young way of thinking that has no place for old white thinking.

Even if Barack is going to put you old white folks out to pasture, I hope you vote for him anyway.

Barack is already shutting up the liars using your own courts against you.

Whitey's time is over.

JIm said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lally said...

Anonymous is obviously a rightwing Rovian ploy, no one on the left or non-white has used the term "whitey" since oh maybe 1968. As for "Joe sixpack" (interesting that Jim kept spelling it "sixpact" because it's the rightwing pact that agrees on daily "talking points"—code for "spin" which is code for lies) that's rightwing code for working-class white guys, and Jim being a college-educated broker (Wall Street elitist anyone?) ain't close.

JIm said...

Joe Sixpack is a state of mind. We have little respect for elitist views that run down American Values as stated in the US Founding Documents. We respect free speech and recognise that there are evil people, governments and religious movements that wish to end our form of government and way of life.

PS I would have loved to see the "Whitey" post so I could judge for myself whether he is a Right Wing nut or an Obama true believer.

JIm said...

The Obamasiah has been outraged by McCain's association with the Keating Five, but finds no problem with Sen. John Glen(also one of the Keating Five) who is an Obama supporter. Glen just introduced Bruce Springsteen at an Obama concert. Both McCain and Glen were investigated but neither was criticised by the ethics committee.

John M. Lally said...

"Joe Sixpack" is Republican speak for "You have your television and your alcohol, little guy. That's all that matters. Let us worry about the big issues, while you numb yourself and watch football".