Monday, January 4, 2010

LISTS

One of the things I did most obsessively before the brain surgery was make lists. As anyone knows who has read this blog before the surgery, or for that matter most of my books.

The ways I made them varied, but the most common were alphabet lists, because that made them easy to remember, at least for me, The other most common way was to make trinity lists. Being raised Irish Catholic, there were a lot of trinities in my youth, from the shamrock and Jesus, Mary and Joseph to The Holy Trinity themselves.

But I've been unable to finish any list making that comes to mind, or remember later even the partial attempts I have made. So one of these days I'm going to just make a list in a post, not one that's in my head when I'm falling asleep or taking a walk in the park or etc.

I've been compulsively making lists since I could write, so it's been a very strange hiatus for me. I have the urge, but I just can't remember not just the names of whatever comes to mind to write a list of, but the whole point (or even pointlessness) of the thing. My mind just drifts into other subjects and ways of thinking about things.

As usual, I find this pretty fascinating, since it's my mind, and the change is so drastic and there's nothing I can, or want for that matter, to do about it except observe it as it happens and think about the mysteries of the brain and the ways it works and organizes thoughts. Hmmmm.

4 comments:

harryn said...

having that obsessive list-making tendency myself, i've always been so refreshed by that unique Lally ability to rapid fire ideas ... most notably at poetry readings [which is something to behold if you haven't been to one] and political blogs ...
just an idea - maybe do a little 'live, unedited drifting' here - to see how those 'subjects and ways of thinking' pour out - it would be documented ... and hey, it can't be bad since its flowing from the same brain we all know and love ...
on the road - on the neural highway - all the same ...

RJ Eskow said...

Who are we, really? That's what your whole adventure has been about for me, at least in part (mostly it's about caring about you being OK).

As you know, a lot of religions have devoted energy to deciding where the 'self' resides - mind, brain, heart, soul, etc. I don't know the answer to that stuff.

But I know you're still you, even if I can't write a list right now to prove it ...

TRADEBUM said...

I have been using lists since I hit 40. I used to think it was mainly because my brain got too filled up with law school book reading and the myriad other worldly gems of newspapers, TV and magazines. But now I am in menopause and I realize that age has a way of getting the brain to forget that the brain wants to remember but it just doesn't have the time anymore because its too busy trying to keep me from diving prematurely into alzheimers so I miss all that life has to offer. Not to mention my blackberry is constantly abuzz with emails or texts from crazies just like me. Lists help keep me a little more focused away from that reality. And I have had the extraordinary opportunity to experience "Lallys Lists" (which seems a more apt title for this blog by the way) in full regalic bloom post and pre op brain surgery. Don't let him fool you folks, he has had no trouble getting onto paper somewhere sometime somehow just what he needs or wants to say. We go grocery shopping to Whole Foods at least 3 times a week with "Lallys List" in tow, and "have I forgotten anything?" No, I say. Never.

Lally said...

Thanks for your perspectives everyone, it makes me feel you find this process almost as interesting as me.