Back before I cried at almost any film moment that moved me for whatever reason—great acting, emotional peak of the plot, nostalgia, memories of my youth or people long gone—I never cried at movies.
Then FIELD OF DREAMS came out and I took a beautiful woman I was dating for the first time and as we sat in the dark theater I was mentally tearing the movie apart because it completely skipped the history of segregation in baseball and where was Satchel Page and other greats of "The Negro League" in the film, which I would have been thinking even if my date were not of African ancestry, and the novelist character was so contrived, part J. D. Salinger part wishful thinking (but played brilliantly by James Earl Jones, as always), as was most of the story...
...and yet something must have been resonating (now I can see it was a convergence of things including Burt Lancaster in one of his last, perhaps his last, movie role, a man who I imitated as a boy and young man because his film performances impacted me so much) most importantly my unresolved conflicts with my own father, but at that moment in that theater I was unaware of anything but my critique until the climactic moment when Kevin Costner's character plays catch with the ghost of his father's youth...
...and suddenly I hear someone sobbing hysterically before I even realized it was me. I was completely embarrassed and did my best to compose myself by the time the lights came up, but I was emotionally drained for days afterward.
Well I just caught the last half of the film and once again I was mentally criticizing the lack of historic black baseball players or any reference to them or the decades of segregation in the sport and some of the corny plot points but had to admit the acting was all pretty damn good and then before I knew it....bah hah hah I'm sobbing. Only for a minute or two but for that moment uncontrollably once again.
I wonder if it hits other men that way or just me or those of us whose fathers are long gone and we wished we had had the chance to play catch with them just once before they were.
11 comments:
This movie never pushed my sob button but i've had many movie experiences like yours.
one time my wife -- then my girlfriend, and an amy tan fan -- and I went to the local art house to see THE JOY LUCK CLUB. The theater was packed, and beside us was this huge biker dude, leather jacket, chunky blue tattoos, and his date. Well, the movie runs and I'm thinking this movie is rather sentimental, but the acting is superb.
And then we get to the ending, and there is a sudden irrigation. I am crying like a babe. As the house lights go up I do my best to wipe the tears away and blow my nose, and adopt a 'yeah, I'm cool' pose when I look over at the biker dude putting on his black leather jacket and his eyes are two deep wet pools of emotion.
It's getting worse with age. I cry at a well-turned phrase or a beautifully performed tune. Helpless and hopeless, but oh so human.
I can be watching a movie or be in a situation that reminds me of my mother, my father or a loved one no longer here and it's like a tremendous wave of tears but it quickly calms. My sisters say they don't have these bouts of sobbing so I have an idea that it just depends on your emotional makeup regardless of gender or outward appearance. Sometimes a waterfall starts to pour when I witness a kind act or see/hear something extraordinary or pure-in music, writing, on stage, or in a photograph. And I find the same as Richard shared- As I age, the more years, more tears.
Richard and Jen, you both expressed my experience beautifully. The human condition, at least for some of us. (I got teary watching that SEABISCUIT movie several years ago when it came out and I saw it with a male friend, during a scene between Chris Cooper and Jeff Bridges and he leaned over and asked if I was okay, wondering what was going on, and Is said it was just my appreciation for these two great actors going moment to moment together so brilliantly.)
Jim you will never get respect because you never give it. I hope you wake up while you still have a bit of life left.
Message to Jim- Jim, i urge you to start your own blog-where you can express your views freely, without annoying decent people and being adversarial as you are. I would hope by now you realize that you are not going to change anyone's mind with your current approach, so please, leave Michael, me and others alone. Go to www.blogger.com or www.wordpress.com or others i'm sure you can find and set up your own blog- it's easy and free. Best wishes.
I agree. Please go away Jim. It is very immature to seek to bask in negative responses, also not emotionally healthy. Have you tried therapy? The toxic energy you bring to this blog is unbelievable. Every now and then, I come across one of your rants before Lally zaps them. It is not a positive experience, and often makes me feel like I must take a shower...
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