NEW FAVORITE POEM (BY HILTON OBENZINGER)

Men! It's time to take a count:

There's a president
There's another president
There's the current president
Who says "Believe Me" and grabs
Then there's the senator
There's the Hollywood Mogul
(Do we know what a Mogul is?)
Then there's the comic, the doctor
There's another comic
There's the senator who used to be a comic
Then there's the actor
And there's a director
Of course there's the priest and the teacher
There's a professor also
And another professor
And another
There's an even older president
There's the Sunday School teacher
There's a pastor minister rabbi guru
Here comes another president
The famous writer, all the celebrity
Crackpots are here too
There's the student
There's the guy at the copy machine
There's the guy who cleans the office
Then another senator
A candidate for congress
There's a very rich man
There's a not so rich man
Chalk up another senator
We could be here all night
Every man needs to dig deep
That means me too
There are pinches
There's "seduction"
There's the grab
There's the glad hand
There's all of this and more
Each man and more
Now - no more
Stop
One more president and that's it
Done and over and out
Keep your hands to yourself
Stop
Welcome to a new social contract
Sign on the zipper

—Hilton Obenzinger