Today is the two month anniversary of my brain surgery. If we're going by dates. The operation was November 13th, so today—or these last few minutes of it here on the East Coast on January 13th—makes it two months.
But then last Friday was eight weeks, which is another way of counting two months. So which is it? And is that a peculiarly English language problem or is that just simple math? And am I having trouble figuring out which day—last Friday or today—is the real mark of my making it to two months past the operation a result of the operation? Or would I have had the same trouble before the operation but just never thought about it this way before?
Or did I think about conundrums like this and just can't remember? Do you think about these things? And if you do, which day would you choose to mark the two month anniversary?
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it is a conundrum, but i remember the anxiety of the first day - i woke up extra early that friday in november, because i was in Los Angeles and wanted to be in real-time for morning prayer and meditation - compensating for east/west discrepancies ...
it was a clear, cool dawn - whose adjectives reminded me of you - not far from where we first met near Ocean and Montana, along the Palisades - i walked - remembering what my father taught me - that its a simple reminder of what comes next - each step - remembering what you told me about not projecting and prayer and steps and turning it over, and poetry, and authors, and movies, and friendship, and love - and what you used to say about Cubby and 'hope' - but this where i disagree, for today ...
with the exception of leaving some well wishes on your voicemail, i couldn't, and didn't talk to anyone for fear of breaking the prayer ...
i returned to the Palisades for dusk and one of those glorious sunsets over the bay which told me it was going to be okay - the anxiety passed ...
i guess after the the first month or so, it's a day count till that gets befuddling - then its an anniversary date till that matters less than one day at a time ...
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