An old friend, Carrie Hyman, passed yesterday and it is a shame. She was one of the brighter spirits in the universe and though that spirit will never die, I and many others will miss her physical presence in the world.
She was an acupuncturist and doctor of Chinese medicine, but I just knew her as a sweet person. I once was in the midst of a marriage breaking up and stayed on a friend's apartment floor. Carrie, already a cancer survivor, was living with that old friend at the time and didn't seem to mind at all that she had to step over me to move around the apartment in the morning when she left for work and I was still sleeping on that floor. For the several days I stayed there I got to know her and her generosity and kindness well. That was back in the early '80s and we've been friends ever since.
I didn't see her a lot. But I see few people a lot other than my kids. But every time I did see her it was a special delight. The most recent encounter wasn't that long ago, or doesn't seem so. It was where I'm writing this from, The Berkshires, in Great Barrington actually in a great little restaurant with the best thin crust pizza in this part of the world. She spied me sitting with some of my kids through the window and came in to hug me and beam that radiant smile on me and just let me know how much she loved me and I let her know I felt the same.
We vowed to see each other more often, but didn't get to. I'm glad our last contact was in person though, where we could really feel our affection and care for each other. Life is so precious, isn't it?
[PS: I got the photo from another old and dear friend Eve Brandstein on Facebook. Not sure if Eve or someone else took it, but it's exactly how I remember her so thanks to whoever did.]
13 comments:
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. May your good memories and the passage of time bring you comfort.
yes, eve picked the prefect photo of carrie. it captured her light. and your post, michael, is a brief tribute to a woman who was smart, loving, loyal, & tenacious. i loved her for a while... and always will.
-your friend of the santa monica floor
Thanks for all the condolences. As my old friend, and her good friend Eve ponts out in he tribute on Facebook, Carrie was also a dancer and a poet and a lot of other creative things. All will be missed.
Woops, meant to put that on facebook, for here thank you Kirk and I hope you don't mind Anonymous but I actually mentioned your name on the comment I left on Eve's Facebook reposting of this post. You guys were a very powerful couple when you were together. Lots of positive energy for the rest of us.
She would have loved how we remember her and love her. As another friend Rona Edwards wrote me to quote from the Wizard of Oz,
a heart isn't measured by how much you love, but how much you are loved by others. Eve
Yes. I remember a documentary of Count Basie after he died. There were bits of an interview with him where they asked how he'd like to be remembered and he said something like "as a nice guy" and then there were interviews after his death with tons of great musicians and singers who had worked with him and his band and they all, every one of them, said he was the nicest guy they had ever worked with in the music biz. What a legacy. Carrie is being remembered in that same way and you are right Eve, she would (and does I believe) love being remembered for how great a friend and person she was, how genuinely nice she was to be around.
I'm so grateful for this wonderful post and gorgeous photo of my friend Carrie. I met Carrie when I was about 14 or 15 through our mutual friend, Myna. Carrie was the most beautiful, talented, intelligent, creative, and loving person I had ever met. She was a total joy to be around and I learnt a lot about life, love, books and creativity just being around her. She and Myna were the maids of honour at my wedding and her speech was eloquent, funny, erudite and left everyone in tears.
The last time I saw Carrie was just after she received her most recent devastating diagnosis. I visited her, her mother Ruth, as well as her kids who adored her- Sarah and Ben- in Lennox, Mass.
I just found out about her death today and I'm grieving and grateful to have known her.
Michael, please tell me where the facebook page is.
Thanks again for writing this post.
Myna and I will be looking for photos and intend to share our crazy Carrie stories as time goes on.
Fern
Fern, just go to Carrie Alyson Hyman on Facebook, the link is here if it works:
Woops, meant "Alison"
that seems to be a friend page. I'd love to see the tribute on fb. Is that somewhere else?
I don't know fern. Sorry. Facebook is often a mystery to me.
Thank you Lally for what you posted about our friend Carrie. I knew her at Amherst College -- and was entranced by her. We stayed in touch every five years or so since then -- and I visited her a couple of times in LA when she lived there. I just found out about the very sad news when I tried to contact her again -- thinking she might still be in Hawaii where I find myself now. Above all else, she shone with an inner brilliance that I miss and that will be missed by many. All of the comments here are a tribute to her generous and warm spirit. Thank you again for the post.
Ashley Adams
You're welcome Ashley, and sorry you had to find out that way. I'm sure you were in her very big heart as she was in ours.
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